Mr. Sandman

I have been feeling run down since I have been on winter break so I went to the doctor today and all my blood work on Tuesday came back normal. Was also tested for mono and some other tests that could make me feel run down. He also thinks it could be sleep apnea, but I really don’t think it could be that since I don’t see why that could just come on in two weeks and his other diagnosis was that I am just missing the hustle and bustle of how busy I am with school and without it I just don’t know what to do with myself. WTF kind of diagnosis is that!?

Sunday MY Cowboys blew chunks and got eliminated from the playoffs. I have never been more disappointed in them. Hell, I still had hope back when we were 1-15, but right now they are not in sync with each other as a team and I don’t see it changing much next year. It would take a huge miracle for us to turnaround next year. I’m still bitter, I’m sure my hope for the team will come back eventually. After all, it hasn’t even been a week. It still sucks!

Monday I had a colopscopy and let me tell you that test is not only hell, but it also has you worried which could be part of the problem of my sleep problems. I survived that test, but I sure hope those tests come back positive. Waiting for the results to come back is the worst and on top of that I had to wait probably a good three weeks to have the colopscopy scheduled and the nurse told me it was a biopsy over the phone so you immediately think cancer when you hear that word. On the positive side of this hellish test my doc said everything looked normal and my pap results were on the low end of low so that is the good news and they aren’t too worried, but wanted to make sure.

On top of all this, with the Christmas Blues my boyfriend seriously struck out in the gift department. He got me two necklaces and a pair of earrings that goes with one of the necklaces, but neither are very me. They are from the Lia Sophia collection and she does have some beautiful pieces that are more me. I just wish he would have taken a little more effort in picking my gift whatever it would have been had he just thought about it, gone to a store and looked around. Instead he picked up his moms catalog picked out a few pieces, gave her the money and said get as close to these as possible. They don’t go with anything I wear and I just do not care for them at all and it hurts me that I have been finding things for him since July here and there and really taking the time out to find things he would like and can use and lets not forget the major hole I put in my pocket book over the months. It’s not the cost of the gift, it’s that he didn’t pick out something that was me.

Truth be told I was hoping for some sort of promise ring or a beautiful necklace with a few small diamonds in it, something that would show his commitment to me and something that I can wear and show people. I don’t have that and after 10 months of dating I wish I could have that something. After all the hints I have been dropping since before my birthday I thought he would have gotten the hint, but apparently not.

For Pete’s sakes there are 10 billion jewelry commercials on from Thanksgiving to Christmas — you would think he would have gotten a clue. And not spending any time with him during Christmas, waiting until New Years Eve to exchange gifts just had me all bummed out about this Christmas season. I have never felt so alone on Christmas before in all my life. I was really sad and I never want to feel that again.

Men always ask why women want diamonds, why we like bling. It’s the same reason why you men like big screen TVs, video games, computers that can do everything, the best sound system in your car. You men have those things and us women like our bling. It’s not really much different — what you spend on your electronics and gadgets is what you could spend on us to buy us something pretty and sparkly. Not all the time, but once in a while it is a very nice gift gesture and I have never known a woman to turn down diamonds or be disappointed in them.

I guess a little depression could have me run down too. I am anxious to get back to school. I do miss it. There is just not that much to do that is exciting in Sioux Falls especially in the winter. School keeps my brain sharp, me out of trouble and I’m not bored. I might complain about the workload, but I really enjoy my fellow classmates, professors, and the people that work at my school.

I hope to soon get back on a normal sleeping schedule. I hate these two, three hour naps mid-day or after supper and than can’t fall asleep at a normal time. Like right now, I should be sleeping as I have to get up early and drive to Minneapolis with Nate, but I am watching the Bucket List and typing this blog because I am not tired. I miss my energy, my spunk, and I do hope that comes back sooner than later.

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