I need to forgive myself for being too scared to find love and get into a relationship again. It is not that I don’t want to date because I really do and I think I am ready, but it still terrifies me to get to the point where I start caring and trusting a guy again that I will get hurt. It doesn’t help matters that two men I truly thought I loved ended things without letting me know. No closure is the worst thing in the world. It is so hard to heal from that and takes a toll on one’s soul. It is not my fault that they weren’t man enough to give me a reason. I know I am better off without them, but it still hurts to think about it. The right guy will come along and put these losers to shame, but he just might have to go through a few walls before the real me lets him in. I hope that in the time it takes to get through those walls it doesn’t push him away.
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